te_chan01: (chibibaru)
[personal profile] te_chan01
Title-I'm The Wind That's in Your Hair
Pairing- Ryo/Ohkura
Rating- PG
Genre- AU, Angst-ish
Word Length- 1787
Disclaimer- Totally fictional :)
Summary- Ryo has trouble dealing with the loss of the one he loves.
Note- Inspired by the line from the song Every Night by Imagine Dragons.

Every morning, Nishikido Ryo is reminded of what he’s lost. His hand reaches out, but all he feels is cold sheets. The shower isn’t on, and the apartment is silent. He can’t smell breakfast being made, or Ohkura’s swearing when he accidently cuts or burns himself. Ryo wakes up, and he’s alone.

He drags himself out of bed, into the shower and a fresh pair of clothes. In the living room, he kneels in front of the alter holding Ohkura’s picture to light incense and pray. It’s been four months now since Ohkura passed away. At first, it was unbearable. Ryo was unable to eat, would lay in bed awake all night, and couldn’t bring himself to be even the minimal, basic routines such as showering and cleaning his clothes. His friends worried and visited often to make sure he was okay. Gradually, things started getting better, and the pain started to ease up. But there was still a hole in his heart, one that he knew wasn’t soon going to heal.

In the kitchen, Ryo looks at the basket on the counter that holds a few snacks. They were always left there for Ohkura to take to work in addition to his lunch. It had been empty the day Ohkura left him, and for some reason Ryo filled it back up, unable to stand the sight of it empty. With a sigh, Ryo started to prepare his breakfast of cold cereal. He never did have the skills to cook like Ohkura.
When the cereal and milk was poured into the bowel with a coffee in his other hand, Ryo goes to the table, where another bowel, spoon, and mug were set out. Ryo had gotten so used to setting out two place settings that he didn’t even think about it the first time he set the table for only himself. After meals, he didn’t even bother putting the set away. It was a permanent fixture to the table, now.

On his way out the door for work, Ryo says good bye to Ohkura’s picture like he did when Ohkura was alive. It was one habit he wasn’t able to break, no matter how weird it felt to talk to a picture. Saying it made him feel better, and sometimes he could swear he heard someone saying good bye to him just before he shut the door behind him.

~*~

Ryo takes his time finishing work, making sure all his papers are filled out correctly and put into the right file. He is one of the last employees to leave, and mumbled good bye to the remaining few and the janitor. He walks down to the train, barely making it before it departs. He’s never too eager to go home to an empty apartment.

The sky is dark and the stars are out by the time he gets home. He enters his building and makes his way up the stares to his apartment. A light breeze blows past him, strange for being inside a well-maintained building. Ryo takes his time, taking the steps one by one, strolling down the hall. He unlocks the door, steps in, and begins to take off his shoes, noticing there were two footprints in the dust next to his feet. The light in the living room is on, even though Ryo knew he didn’t turn it on before he left.


Ryo steps into the kitchen. The refrigerator is open a crack, and there is a plate on the counter with the peel of a mikan that was just eaten. The sweet scent was still in the air. Ryo tried to hide the smile that was about to show itself.

“Ohkura?” Ryo calls. He waits for a response, staying as still as possible, making no noise. There were traces that someone had been there. It couldn’t have been a person. His door was locked and no one had his key to lock it from the outside. No one else would eat a mikan and leave the evidence for Ryo to clean up.

Cool air surrounded Ryo, against his back, encircling his arms, passing by his ear. It was holding him. “I knew you were here. You could be a little less messy. Clean up after yourself.” Ryo’s voice was light and teasing, and he could swear he felt the air quiver, as though it had been laughing too. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Quick, fleeting puffs of air pressed against Ryo’s neck, cheek, and forehead. The air holding his arms traveled to his waist. The bottom of his shirt lifted and the chill hit his skin, splaying out like Ohkura’s fingers used to. Every place Ohkura touched him was icy, but warmed Ryo’s heart. Ohkura was here with him. Even if Ryo couldn’t see him, just feeling the light breezes was enough.

“I miss you so much, Ohkura.” Ryo’s voice cracked slightly, his eyes pricking with tears. He was so happy, unexplainably happy to have the one he loved with him, even as a spirit, but it wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same as having Ohkura in person. Ghosts can only do so much.

The coldness left his back and waist. “Ohkura?!” Ryo yelled, shocked at the sudden warmth around him. He spread out his arms, trying frantically to feel the air around him for Ohkura, but the cool air was gone. Ryo fell to his knees, gripping his hair with his hands. His face was soaked with tears. He couldn’t deal with loosing Ohkura twice. Not when Ohkura had been so close. Once was enough.

But then, in the silence, Ryo heard a whisper that sounded like his name. He looked up, and through the tears, he saw a faint, transparent image of Ohkura, kneeling in front of him. Ryo wiped his eyes, looked back up, and rubbed them again to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. No, Ohkura was still there, still looking at him like he had so many times when he was alive. “You’re here?” Ohkura smiled and nodded, sending Ryo’s heart soaring. He never thought he’d see Ohkura’s face in front of him again, outside of a picture. “See what you’ve done to me, Ohkura?” Ryo let out a breathy laugh, trying to disguise the sob that had been caught in his throat. “I used to be cool, now I’m just an over emotional idiot. It’s not fair.”

Ohkura’s smile saddened as he looked away, guilt crossing his face. When he looked back at Ryo, his eyes held such a strong sense of sorry that Ryo didn’t even need to hear the words to know how Ohkura felt. Ohkura raised his hands to Ryo’s face, the coolness suddenly returning, but Ryo didn’t pull back. Ryo brought his hand to Ohkura’s, to try to feel his hand, but it was just air. Ohkura leaned forward, and the chill hit Ryo’s lips. It was the closest thing to a kiss Ohkura could give. Ryo closed his eyes, enjoying the touch that he missed so much, even though it wasn’t the same as it used to be and he couldn’t do anything in return. The feelings, the passion, was still there.

Ohkura pulled back and stood up, holding his hand out to Ryo. Ryo reached for him, feeling the icy air envelope his hand. Ohkura walked toward the bedroom, Ryo following close behind, not wanting to loose Ohkura’s faint grasp.

They laid in bed together, hardly any space between them. Ohkura stroked Ryo’s face, staring straight into his eyes. Ryo refused to break eye contact, afraid if he did, Ohkura would disappear. Of it all, he missed this the most, just spending time with Ohkura, not doing a single thing but looking at each other, knowing just how lucky they had been to find each other and fall in love. They didn’t need words           .

Hours passed, and Ryo struggled to stay awake. He hated himself, because he could sense that his time with Ohkura was limited, and he didn’t want to waste a single second. But it was impossible. Every few seconds Ryo would start to doze off. “I’m sorry, Ohkura.” Ryo apologized when he realized he couldn’t force himself to stay awake. Ohkura gave him a reassuring smile, and pressed one last fleeting kiss on Ryo’s lips. He draped an arm across Ryo’s waist and leaned his head against his chest. The contact made Ryo shiver, so he pulled the comforter tight around him. It was uncomfortable to be so cold, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He had Ohkura in his arms again, and he was able to fall asleep with a smile for the first time in four months.

~*~

In the morning, Ryo woke up alone. Ohkura’s side of the bed was cool, as it was every morning, but the air was warm. Ryo walked around his apartment just to make sure Ohkura wasn’t there. Ryo had expected it, but it didn’t stop the pain from seeping back into his heart at the loss. He went back into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, resting his head in his hands. He rubbed his forehead and smoothed back his hair, trying to come to terms with being alone again. He started to wonder if last night had all been an illusion.

 A white piece of paper on the bedside table caught his eye while his hair was pulled away from his eyes. The table had been empty for months, since Ohkura’s things had been packed away. Ryo picked it up, unfolding it carefully. A sob caught in his throat the second he saw the handwriting.

I love you, Ryo!” it read, in Ohkura’s handwriting. He had been there! He really had been. He left the proof. Ryo smiled, the pain lessening, his heart feeling whole again. Ryo knew Ohkura wouldn’t stop loving him just because he wasn’t there anymore. And even though Ohkura was gone, both body and spirit, Ryo could still feel his presence, and it calmed him. He didn’t feel as though he was all by himself.

Ryo folded the paper, about to put it in a safe place, when he noticed more writing on the back. The characters were small and hard to read, forcing Ryo to squint.

“P.S.” it read. “Buy more mikans. You’re out.” Ryo laughed out loud, knowing he shouldn’t be surprised at all. Ohkura always had a one track mind for food.

Ryo tucked the letter away and started getting ready for the day. The first thing on his agenda was to go to the market to pick up those mikan for Ohkura. He would be disappointed if he didn’t find them in Ryo’s fridge.

~*~



A/N: Got the inspiration for this fic while driving to school yesterday, and I could actually see the whole story clearly. It was actually easy to write for once. Ryo/Ohkura is an old favorite pairing of mine, back from when I was discovering K8 after NewS. Ryo was my favorite in NewS, and I liked Ohkura simply because he was a drummer. The very first k8 fic I wrote (but never finished) was a Ryo/Ohkura one.

Anyhow! I hope you enjoyed reading this! Comments = <3
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